YOU ARE ENOUGH

Hello Lovers,

Trust we've been coping just fine so far. 

I pray that the world returns to normal pretty soon.

I want to talk about an issue that I realize most people find difficult to deal with. When some of these people are faced with this situation, It changes something about them or leaves a negative feeling in them. It is a known fact that people react to things differently and that we are stronger than one another. The way Mr A will handle an issue might be totally different from how Mr B will handle that same issue.

The world we live in is the type that constantly seeks to dictate who you should be and how you should live, trust me if you don't know who you are, you will accept whatever the world throws at you.  To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best night and day to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle and never stop fighting.  I think about this often and I just wonder why we have to beat up ourselves so much on another person's perception of us. Why? I mean, just why???. Also, when you are nice to people and they don't acknowledge it or appreciate it not to talk of reciprocating, why do we still feel the need to blame ourselves for such behaviours? Why do we keep pushing ourselves their way?. 

Someone said something bad to you or criticized you destructively and you hold on to the criticism making it dictate how you live your life. You are so bothered about what someone thinks about you that you forget what being happy feels like!. It is so unnecessary and totally unfair to your being. You are only who you allow yourself to be. Never let anyone dictate who you are to you. Nobody has that much right over you. 

Someone thinks you are not brilliant and you start wallowing in that thought forever. Someone thinks you are not a nice person regardless of what you do and you won't allow yourself have peace because of that? Someone thinks you are not "enough", you are not good enough, you are a failure, you are ugly, you are unimportant e. t.c and you dwell in that feeling and deprive yourself the freedom, the joy  bestowed upon you by your heavenly father! It is unacceptable!.

 The first solution to this is knowing yourself. Have you met yourself yet? Know who you are and what you are worth. Knowing who you are will help you handle criticism better. Nobody should know you better than you know yourself. People only see what they wish to see in you . It is now left for you to show them who you want them to see. To be honest, people will not always be nice to you. Some people will just not see your worth regardless, not because you are a bad person but because they've conditioned their minds to condemn or destroy due to reasons best known to them.

When they try to make you believe that you are who they painted you to be, strive to prove them wrong. Shock them with your awesomeness. Ignore their hurtful words and dazzle them with the greatness embedded in you. Walk with your hair down and shoulder high. Sooner or later they will really see the stuff you are made of.

It is also very necessary that you posses a very high self-esteem because only when your self-esteem is high can you break free from the slanderers. You don't have to be rich before you showcase your self- esteem. Taking pride in yourself and your achievements no matter how little it seems is enough riches. Loving , respecting and appreciating yourself should matter most to you. Don't struggle to be part of somebody's life especially when they make it so glaring that they don't want you there. Don't keep struggling to maintain a relationship with who makes you feel unappreciated and unloved. That person is not more important than you. He or she is not more valuable than you are. You don't need that person to validate you because you worth much more. It is really embarrassing and highly degrading to have someone treat you in an unwanted way making you loose your self-respect. If someone values you, he or she will reciprocate your kind gestures or at least acknowledge and appreciate them not making you feel like they are doing you a favour by accepting you into their lives. 

Please note that the essence of this write-up is not to ignore feedbacks. Feedbacks are good, they make us become better human beings, but what I am stressing here is that you weigh what comes to you and filter what you take in . Some feedbacks are just totally wrong. People who don't really know you feels they can judge you and tag you just anything that comes to their mind not minding if they are right or wrong. Some might even form an opinion of you based on what they have heard from other people and not based on their own observation of you while others are just out there to make you feel less of yourself; to bully you sort of. These are what I advise that we frown against.

Constructive criticism or feedbacks are good. Destructive criticism and bullying of any sort is not acceptable and should not be condoned. You are your own fighter. You have to stand against what is destructive to your mental health and emotional well-being. Anything that seeks to take your joy away and constantly seek to make you feel less of yourself should be combatted. You don't need anybody to validate you before you realize how valuable you are. You are precious. You are valuable. You are lovely. You are good-looking. You are so smart. You are enough. You are the best of your kind and guess what? You matter the most.

MAKE UP TIME

Hi everyone,

Trust you've all been doing pretty fine.

How is the lockdown in your area? How have you all been coping?

I am glad that I am able to find my way here after such a long time. I will love to share with you all how I've been spending my lockdown time so far. Before I proceed, I quickly want to chip in that I've heard so much and still hearing different things concerning this lockdown.

To some people, it is really a difficult time for them especially those who are not used to staying indoor. Seriously I belong to this category. My life has always revolved around work, business, church and hangouts. So, finding myself in this condition is really not fun for me.

Back to the different gists gathered from people who are striving to survive at this time. We have seen alot of motivational speakers springing up at this time. People who all of a sudden just discovered their talent in motivational speeches or write ups. You'll hear alot of " Read all the books you can lay your hands on during this pandemic" Write a book during this stay home time" "Learn to sing" , learn the piano" etc.  Guess what ? They are all good advices. Everything and anything you learn during this stay home time is not a waste but that is not all there is. There is a whole lot of other things to give attention to at this time aside learning this and that.

Much as I am not used to staying home l have tried to make the best use of my present condition. Firstly, I thought of the fact that before the pandemic I hardly have time to spend with my family. I am always away due to work or one function or the other. I hardly even have the time to read anything that is not only necessary but compulsory mostly work-related. I don't get to rest or exercise as appropriate. There are alot of times I feel sick but don't pay attention to, I usually overlook it with the " I am probably just tired, I just need to rest a little"  statement and move on.

Most atimes, we feel that if we are still able to gallavant about we are healthy, we are fit, we are strong e.t.c but the truth is that some of us are actually not as fit as we thought. What I've been doing and what I'll advise that you also do is pay more attention to your health (physically and mentally), Let  us use this opportunity to familiarize with our family. Whether you like it or not, alot has changed in your family that you probably did not take note of. Those your siblings who you haven't seen or spend time with in years due to school calendars have imbibed one character or the other that you may not be aware of. This is the time to "get to meet them again" or "know them" in order to know what has changed about them and how grown up they seems to be right now.

Another thing I do to pass time is make videos especially dance videos. Thanks to the new apps coming up; Triller app,Tik-tok app e.t.c .You can also do exercise since the lockdown is making a lot of people gain weight. Reading books too is not bad, the most important thing is to make this period worth the while. Make the most of it because when this pandemic is over and everything returns to normal, alot of people are going to really crave for a break and that time they won't see it. Use this time to do all those things you always wish for but couldn't due to "Time". The "time" is here and the "time" is now.

Stay home and stay safe. Wash your hands regularly and use your sanitizer frequently. Insist on having anybody coming to your house wash their hands thoroughly and have a sanitizer by the gate for them to use before coming into your home. Remember, it's better safe than sorry.