LETTING GO

Hello people!

Trust we are still keeping safe.

Have you ever been disappointed by someone you least expect? How do you feel when people do things to you that you feel you do not deserve from them? I mean when you are so nice to people and will do anything legally possible to make them happy but it seems like they do not even notice what you do or just do not count it as anything . They make it seems like your being nice to them is their right.

For instance, you have been very helpful to someone without necessarily expecting a payback but when situation demands that they come to your aid they turn you down with flimsy or no excuse, how does this make you feel? do you take it to heart? do you hold it against them? do you quit your kind gestures towards them? do you show them attitude, do you simply talk about it with them or do you just stylishly distance yourself from them? I will leave you to your thought.

We all know that people react to things differently. What might hurt one person might not be a big deal to another, but isn't there this general feeling of being cheated or treated unfairly when you desperately need an assistance from these people and they purposely turn you down? not because they don't have the means but simply because 'they can't be bothered'. I mean you feel that if you are so good a person then you deserve to be treated right.

If you are helpful or generous to people you naturally expect that the good deeds return to you in one way or the other. You won't imagine that these same people will deny you support when necessary. It is normal to feel bad, hurt or disappointed no matter how nice you are. Somehow, we expect that the people we show love and kindness reciprocate when the need arises, but in reality, how much favours do we get in return for our kindness?

We need to critically think about this aspect of life so that we can take our stand. We need to decide on how best to handle this situation and abide by our decisions. It is only when this is established that you can totally be at peace with yourself.

The first thing we need to take into consideration is that life itself is not fair. While some people live their best lives, others are struggling and striving through it all. While some have never experienced any form of hardship, others don't know any other life aside hustling and toiling. What should we say to that? That the people who are struggling have offended God, and ones living large haven't? or that God despised those who are not living their desired lifestyle? Of course not, God is ever loving and just. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If we often think about this, we would be able to console ourselves that whatever good we do to people, we do it because we have the grace to do it and not necessarily because we want a payback.

Secondly, we must never stop the act of kindness simply because people do not reciprocate as we expect. We must believe that there is no good work we do that go unnoticed by God and these good works pay off at the end of the day. The person that God will use for you might not even be someone you know or have helped. So, you need to let go of painful memories and painful thoughts, harmful desires and unhealthy habits. Free yourself from unhappy feelings.

Thirdly, there is no point holding a grudge against those who have disappointed you. If you are so pained and you feel you should talk to them about it, then go ahead and do that, but be sure to maintain a high level of maturity and politeness while at it because it is a very sensitive discussion, and whatever feedback you get, take it in good faith and move on. Another reason why  talking about it is okay is so as to find out if they are unaware of their actions or if they don't just give a care in the world!

Be sure to not let the discussion lead to argument of any sort. Do not go listing all you have done for the person and counting the number of times the person has turned you down in the past. It is pertinent to know that some people will give you just about any story to avoid helping you, they just want you off their backs. Some people are that selfish and inconsiderate. They always seek to receive but never to give or share. Painful as it may be, It is what it is. You don't need to withdraw from coming to their aid when the need arises or when you have the grace to do so. We should not allow other people's bad behaviour make us who God has not made us to be.

Finally, having a forgiving spirit is key. Learning to let go is necessary. Being mindful of the fact that God Himself has been faithful to us despite our unfaithfulness is important. We offend God, don't we? We take advantage of his love for us. We are sometimes even selfish towards him but what did he do to us in return? He  loves us unconditionally, He welcomes us with open arms, He forgives us,He cares for us and He watches out for us all the time. Remember, if the Lord should mark our iniquities who shall stand? So, let us all be consoled with the word of God that says 'whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Let us be reminded of the words of Desmond Tutu that says 'Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world'. We will do good regardless. We willl love unconditionally and we will do our best to make the world a better place nonetheless.

YOU ARE ENOUGH

Hello Lovers,

Trust we've been coping just fine so far. 

I pray that the world returns to normal pretty soon.

I want to talk about an issue that I realize most people find difficult to deal with. When some of these people are faced with this situation, It changes something about them or leaves a negative feeling in them. It is a known fact that people react to things differently and that we are stronger than one another. The way Mr A will handle an issue might be totally different from how Mr B will handle that same issue.

The world we live in is the type that constantly seeks to dictate who you should be and how you should live, trust me if you don't know who you are, you will accept whatever the world throws at you.  To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best night and day to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle and never stop fighting.  I think about this often and I just wonder why we have to beat up ourselves so much on another person's perception of us. Why? I mean, just why???. Also, when you are nice to people and they don't acknowledge it or appreciate it not to talk of reciprocating, why do we still feel the need to blame ourselves for such behaviours? Why do we keep pushing ourselves their way?. 

Someone said something bad to you or criticized you destructively and you hold on to the criticism making it dictate how you live your life. You are so bothered about what someone thinks about you that you forget what being happy feels like!. It is so unnecessary and totally unfair to your being. You are only who you allow yourself to be. Never let anyone dictate who you are to you. Nobody has that much right over you. 

Someone thinks you are not brilliant and you start wallowing in that thought forever. Someone thinks you are not a nice person regardless of what you do and you won't allow yourself have peace because of that? Someone thinks you are not "enough", you are not good enough, you are a failure, you are ugly, you are unimportant e. t.c and you dwell in that feeling and deprive yourself the freedom, the joy  bestowed upon you by your heavenly father! It is unacceptable!.

 The first solution to this is knowing yourself. Have you met yourself yet? Know who you are and what you are worth. Knowing who you are will help you handle criticism better. Nobody should know you better than you know yourself. People only see what they wish to see in you . It is now left for you to show them who you want them to see. To be honest, people will not always be nice to you. Some people will just not see your worth regardless, not because you are a bad person but because they've conditioned their minds to condemn or destroy due to reasons best known to them.

When they try to make you believe that you are who they painted you to be, strive to prove them wrong. Shock them with your awesomeness. Ignore their hurtful words and dazzle them with the greatness embedded in you. Walk with your hair down and shoulder high. Sooner or later they will really see the stuff you are made of.

It is also very necessary that you posses a very high self-esteem because only when your self-esteem is high can you break free from the slanderers. You don't have to be rich before you showcase your self- esteem. Taking pride in yourself and your achievements no matter how little it seems is enough riches. Loving , respecting and appreciating yourself should matter most to you. Don't struggle to be part of somebody's life especially when they make it so glaring that they don't want you there. Don't keep struggling to maintain a relationship with who makes you feel unappreciated and unloved. That person is not more important than you. He or she is not more valuable than you are. You don't need that person to validate you because you worth much more. It is really embarrassing and highly degrading to have someone treat you in an unwanted way making you loose your self-respect. If someone values you, he or she will reciprocate your kind gestures or at least acknowledge and appreciate them not making you feel like they are doing you a favour by accepting you into their lives. 

Please note that the essence of this write-up is not to ignore feedbacks. Feedbacks are good, they make us become better human beings, but what I am stressing here is that you weigh what comes to you and filter what you take in . Some feedbacks are just totally wrong. People who don't really know you feels they can judge you and tag you just anything that comes to their mind not minding if they are right or wrong. Some might even form an opinion of you based on what they have heard from other people and not based on their own observation of you while others are just out there to make you feel less of yourself; to bully you sort of. These are what I advise that we frown against.

Constructive criticism or feedbacks are good. Destructive criticism and bullying of any sort is not acceptable and should not be condoned. You are your own fighter. You have to stand against what is destructive to your mental health and emotional well-being. Anything that seeks to take your joy away and constantly seek to make you feel less of yourself should be combatted. You don't need anybody to validate you before you realize how valuable you are. You are precious. You are valuable. You are lovely. You are good-looking. You are so smart. You are enough. You are the best of your kind and guess what? You matter the most.

MAKE UP TIME

Hi everyone,

Trust you've all been doing pretty fine.

How is the lockdown in your area? How have you all been coping?

I am glad that I am able to find my way here after such a long time. I will love to share with you all how I've been spending my lockdown time so far. Before I proceed, I quickly want to chip in that I've heard so much and still hearing different things concerning this lockdown.

To some people, it is really a difficult time for them especially those who are not used to staying indoor. Seriously I belong to this category. My life has always revolved around work, business, church and hangouts. So, finding myself in this condition is really not fun for me.

Back to the different gists gathered from people who are striving to survive at this time. We have seen alot of motivational speakers springing up at this time. People who all of a sudden just discovered their talent in motivational speeches or write ups. You'll hear alot of " Read all the books you can lay your hands on during this pandemic" Write a book during this stay home time" "Learn to sing" , learn the piano" etc.  Guess what ? They are all good advices. Everything and anything you learn during this stay home time is not a waste but that is not all there is. There is a whole lot of other things to give attention to at this time aside learning this and that.

Much as I am not used to staying home l have tried to make the best use of my present condition. Firstly, I thought of the fact that before the pandemic I hardly have time to spend with my family. I am always away due to work or one function or the other. I hardly even have the time to read anything that is not only necessary but compulsory mostly work-related. I don't get to rest or exercise as appropriate. There are alot of times I feel sick but don't pay attention to, I usually overlook it with the " I am probably just tired, I just need to rest a little"  statement and move on.

Most atimes, we feel that if we are still able to gallavant about we are healthy, we are fit, we are strong e.t.c but the truth is that some of us are actually not as fit as we thought. What I've been doing and what I'll advise that you also do is pay more attention to your health (physically and mentally), Let  us use this opportunity to familiarize with our family. Whether you like it or not, alot has changed in your family that you probably did not take note of. Those your siblings who you haven't seen or spend time with in years due to school calendars have imbibed one character or the other that you may not be aware of. This is the time to "get to meet them again" or "know them" in order to know what has changed about them and how grown up they seems to be right now.

Another thing I do to pass time is make videos especially dance videos. Thanks to the new apps coming up; Triller app,Tik-tok app e.t.c .You can also do exercise since the lockdown is making a lot of people gain weight. Reading books too is not bad, the most important thing is to make this period worth the while. Make the most of it because when this pandemic is over and everything returns to normal, alot of people are going to really crave for a break and that time they won't see it. Use this time to do all those things you always wish for but couldn't due to "Time". The "time" is here and the "time" is now.

Stay home and stay safe. Wash your hands regularly and use your sanitizer frequently. Insist on having anybody coming to your house wash their hands thoroughly and have a sanitizer by the gate for them to use before coming into your home. Remember, it's better safe than sorry.

FIND YOUR PURPOSE

Hey world people!

Welcome to another edition of the TalesBearer.

I am inspired to write about this topic as this is one topic i enjoy so much. What does it take to live a purposeful life? What is purposeful living? How rewarding is it?

Well...You are welcome to interpret it differently, to interpret it the way you best understands it.

Personally, I will say purposeful living or living purposefully is a way of being intentional about your way of life. When you do something on purpose, it means you've thought about it, you've pondered on it, weighed it and decided to try it out or act it.  Living purposefully is one of the most enjoyable experiences you can enjoy in life. I categorize it as the real life experience. When you are living purposefully, you can confidently say you are living your best life.

You might be wondering how to achieve purposeful living but trust me, it is nothing to worry about. All you need do is be yourself really!. You have to first of all be convinced that you want to live for YOU! You have to be ready to carve out your own path and be ready to follow through come what may. Living purposefully is a very serious business because if you are not convinced about the path you chose for  yourself , you are likely to fall off purpose when turbulent arises.

Study yourself and note those things that you enjoy doing or passionate about. Things that drives you or inspires you. Having done that, Kindly pursue them and try as much as possible to live in accordance with all the factors you've highlighted. Let your daily activities revolves around the kind of life you've carved out for yourself. The most important thing is asking yourself this question each day " What is my purpose in life? " "What am i leaving for?" " Why am i here?" "What am i doing here?" etc. If you can answer these questions each time then you can be sure that you are doing well.

Purposeful living shapes every aspect of your life; ranging from the company you keep, where you go, what you do etc. If any or all of these is not in alignment with the kind of life you've carved out for yourself then you need to re-trace your steps. Be intentional about the friends you keep. In fact choose your friends don't just let them choose you. Be disciplined- stand by your principle. Constantly pursue your dreams till you get it right. Even if it seems like things are not working out as planned or you are scared about how to achieve your aims, Just keep keeping on. You might experience a little fall here and there but that shouldn't bring you down totally. Failure only arises when you have no result to learn from i.e you didn't even try!

The best way to live is being aware of the reason you are alive. Carving a niche for yourself out there and working towards achieving your purpose on a daily basis. Is it rewarding? Yes! It is rewarding because  it gives you a sense of accomplishment. It makes you feel like you are living your life and that you are getting it right despite the mistakes, the falls, the fears, the turbulent etc...

Learning, Personal growths and personal developments are key components of living purposefully. Fulfilling your purpose in life requires that you  learn, develop and grow to meet the challenges that lies ahead of you.

I wish you luck as you begin to live purposefully.

Thank you for reading.

A NEW DAWN

Sometimes  all we need is to feel that nudge to wake us up to the reality, we need to feel the need to get started on that which we dreamed. The best way to live is living your life the best possible way and doing things which you enjoy or derive pleasure ( I learnt that from a friend) regardless of what you currently do or how much or less a time you have at hand , always create time to satisfy that inner YOU! Remember you only live once. What will you be remembered for?

I am excited about this new step of mine. I am grateful to a good friend who woke up the sleeping giant in me. Writing has always been my passion. I am a very expressive person. I like to talk , I like to express how i feel about issues and what better way to do these if not through writing?

I tagged this post " A New Dawn" because it best describes the situation. Bearing in mind that dawn can mean to "become light" or " become clear". It also means an arrival or a realization. New dawn stands for a rebirth, a rejuvenation, a new start, a new beginning, an upturn etc. I could not think of a better title to describe the current situation. I feel like creating this blog is a start of something new for me. Though this is not my first time writing but it is the first time i will be posting my article online! It means a lot to me!. It is also noteworthy that this blog came to birth in the first week of the first month of a new year wow!

I can't wait to connect to the world through writing. I can't wait to air my views about some certain issues. I can't wait to connect to people who are like-minded to me. I cannot wait to start receiving your comments! 

My blog is not named Tales Bearer for no reason. It sure will live up it's name because it will bring you stories from different angles, areas, cultures and backgrounds. It will serve you informative and entertaining stories. Trust me, Tales Bearer is a total package i promise you.

Thank you for taking out time to read my blog. I trust you to visit here frequently and rub minds with me. I will really like to read from you all. Thank you again and I LOVE YOU. Happy New Year!