LETTING GO

Hello people!

Trust we are still keeping safe.

Have you ever been disappointed by someone you least expect? How do you feel when people do things to you that you feel you do not deserve from them? I mean when you are so nice to people and will do anything legally possible to make them happy but it seems like they do not even notice what you do or just do not count it as anything . They make it seems like your being nice to them is their right.

For instance, you have been very helpful to someone without necessarily expecting a payback but when situation demands that they come to your aid they turn you down with flimsy or no excuse, how does this make you feel? do you take it to heart? do you hold it against them? do you quit your kind gestures towards them? do you show them attitude, do you simply talk about it with them or do you just stylishly distance yourself from them? I will leave you to your thought.

We all know that people react to things differently. What might hurt one person might not be a big deal to another, but isn't there this general feeling of being cheated or treated unfairly when you desperately need an assistance from these people and they purposely turn you down? not because they don't have the means but simply because 'they can't be bothered'. I mean you feel that if you are so good a person then you deserve to be treated right.

If you are helpful or generous to people you naturally expect that the good deeds return to you in one way or the other. You won't imagine that these same people will deny you support when necessary. It is normal to feel bad, hurt or disappointed no matter how nice you are. Somehow, we expect that the people we show love and kindness reciprocate when the need arises, but in reality, how much favours do we get in return for our kindness?

We need to critically think about this aspect of life so that we can take our stand. We need to decide on how best to handle this situation and abide by our decisions. It is only when this is established that you can totally be at peace with yourself.

The first thing we need to take into consideration is that life itself is not fair. While some people live their best lives, others are struggling and striving through it all. While some have never experienced any form of hardship, others don't know any other life aside hustling and toiling. What should we say to that? That the people who are struggling have offended God, and ones living large haven't? or that God despised those who are not living their desired lifestyle? Of course not, God is ever loving and just. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If we often think about this, we would be able to console ourselves that whatever good we do to people, we do it because we have the grace to do it and not necessarily because we want a payback.

Secondly, we must never stop the act of kindness simply because people do not reciprocate as we expect. We must believe that there is no good work we do that go unnoticed by God and these good works pay off at the end of the day. The person that God will use for you might not even be someone you know or have helped. So, you need to let go of painful memories and painful thoughts, harmful desires and unhealthy habits. Free yourself from unhappy feelings.

Thirdly, there is no point holding a grudge against those who have disappointed you. If you are so pained and you feel you should talk to them about it, then go ahead and do that, but be sure to maintain a high level of maturity and politeness while at it because it is a very sensitive discussion, and whatever feedback you get, take it in good faith and move on. Another reason why  talking about it is okay is so as to find out if they are unaware of their actions or if they don't just give a care in the world!

Be sure to not let the discussion lead to argument of any sort. Do not go listing all you have done for the person and counting the number of times the person has turned you down in the past. It is pertinent to know that some people will give you just about any story to avoid helping you, they just want you off their backs. Some people are that selfish and inconsiderate. They always seek to receive but never to give or share. Painful as it may be, It is what it is. You don't need to withdraw from coming to their aid when the need arises or when you have the grace to do so. We should not allow other people's bad behaviour make us who God has not made us to be.

Finally, having a forgiving spirit is key. Learning to let go is necessary. Being mindful of the fact that God Himself has been faithful to us despite our unfaithfulness is important. We offend God, don't we? We take advantage of his love for us. We are sometimes even selfish towards him but what did he do to us in return? He  loves us unconditionally, He welcomes us with open arms, He forgives us,He cares for us and He watches out for us all the time. Remember, if the Lord should mark our iniquities who shall stand? So, let us all be consoled with the word of God that says 'whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Let us be reminded of the words of Desmond Tutu that says 'Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world'. We will do good regardless. We willl love unconditionally and we will do our best to make the world a better place nonetheless.